Background: Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I was a school-based therapist followed by a school social worker where I gained knowledge and experience implementing positive behavior systems. I am a licensed clinical social worker and hold my home and school visitor certification, but more importantly I am a mom. And as all of us moms know we learn and grown just as much as our kids.
At home, raising babies to early elementary school kids, I have found it difficult to stick to traditional behavioral charts…Instead, consistently I have found what works for my family is a Pom-pom jar.
How it works: siblings work together to fill up a jar with Pom-poms for being respectful, kind, responsible. They don’t lose any Pom-poms for negative behavior.
Examples of when I give Pom-poms…
-siblings solving a problem appropriately. (McKinley, can you please give me that toy back I was playing with it.)
-playing nicely with each other
-helping someone
-clean up after themselves without being told
-getting ready for school without prompts
-showing respect to adults. (Hazel, I really appreciate that you listened the first time I asked you to put on your shoes. I’m adding a Pom- pom.) It’s amazing, how another child who is having a hard time following the same direction will hear this and then decide to quickly get their shoes on.)
Why I love it:
-encourages siblings to work together (more teamwork, less comparison)
-easy
-forgiving-if you forget to do it one day, or are not home one day, you can just pick up where you left off.
-can add extra incentives (Running late, I can say, I’ll add a pom-pom if you girls can get buckled all by yourself.-it’s like magic!)
-makes a more peaceful home environment: I notice my frustration/yelling drastically goes down when I am consistently using pom-poms.
How often should I be giving Pom-Poms?
This varies on age and behaviors wanting to be addressed. I would definitely recommend having their first jar filled within a few days the first time so they can see it and buy in. Now that I’ve been doing this a few years for my house it might take us 2-3 weeks to fill a jar because I find they can wait longer for a big award and I’m seeing less behaviors I need to target.
Reward ideas:
-special date with parent (ex. Play a board game together)
-stay up late
-sleepover with cousin
-family game/movie night
-Pick a prize from dollar tree (OR have your own little prize bin)
***Just a reminder that EVERY family and EVERY child is different in how we interact, develop, and what we need...what works for my family may not work for yours.
The toddler years are challenging, hang in there.
Ps. Kind of like a new exercise program, for a behavior system to work you need to give it time: implementing it each day for 4-6weeks.
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